The Good Advice That You Just Didn’t Take

Remember, you must behave in life as you would at a potluck lunch. If something disgusting is brought to you by a friend or superior, put your hand out politely and pretend to eat. After your friend or superior turns around, you may discretely feed the food to the dog.

 

A recurring novelty in A Foundation in Wisdom is Aspen’s little philosophy handbook.  The Philosophy of Many Hands, sometimes dubbed, “The Pseudo-Random Philosophy,” is a little guide to life produced from unknown* origins.

It’s not quite as extensive as The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and it lacks the large, friendly letters. But it gets the job done.

The Philosophy is actually a parody of The Handbook, by Epictetus. Epictetus was a Greek philosopher who wrote the precursor to Life’s Little Instruction Book.

I learned about Epictetus during my senior of college. I took a philosophy course from a professor who had a reputation for not being able to make it through an entire 50-minute class without a cigarette.

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On one cool, crisp autumn day – the sort of weather that is perfect for a long cigarette break – class ended early. A couple friends and I sat in the field, trying to not let the nice weather distract us from reading. I had my copy of The Handbook which soon became dotted with – flies.

At some point I closed the book and realized I had inadvertently smashed a couple flies in the pages.

Never to let a smashed fly get me down, we renamed the book The Philosophy of the Flies, which could have been a play on Lord of the Flies, but with fewer conchs and more onions and crustaceans. It was a suitable title. Most of the flies were smashed on the quotes about death.

Some years later I merged the quotes into the predecessor to An Orthogonal Universe, “The History of the Wiener Dog.”

In any case, this little piece of the world of A Foundation in Wisdom can now be downloaded on the “My Books” page.

 

* perhaps the origins are discovered in the book. 😉

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